Alone in an Ocean

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Written a few years ago as a single mum raising my girls

Life is a beautiful journey
Full of constant challenges
that enrich my days
make me grow as a person
An eternal row of lessons
tackled gladly most days
with an energy and enthusiasm
from my positive independent soul

Strong and courageous​
nurturing and resourceful
constantly being the one.
Mother and father in one body
by far my favorite​ role
At times it drains me
Feeling alone and needing a hug
My inner child’s needs awakened

That’s​ when I spiral and spin
into a place I hate
An ocean full of tidal waves
so huge so crushing so engulfing
Like a David against Goliath
I feel small and incompetent
Lost in a world of doubt and turmoil
My inner peace a distant memory

Wishing for the sun to dry up the ocean
To let me feel complete again
Needing to find the energy
to renew my battered soul
Only way out is to let the quiet speak
imagine strong arms surrounding me
nurturing and soothing my soul back to land
where I can again be the ​the one – be Mum

On the Rise

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She knows he just comes for her body
yet always he’s bruising her soul
Each time when they meet
her heart skips a beat
in the end, her inside’s a deep hole

He says he is looking for friendship​
yet his eyes and his actions negates
He plays with her mind
does he think she is blind
he keeps saying”hey babe, we are mates”

Two souls who are searching for pleasure
yet pleasure can take many forms
His needs are veneer
he’s stuck in first gear
She needs someone who more than performs

She wants to move on with her life,
to say no to his teasing brown eyes.
She wants back her control
needs to find her lost soul
Feeling strong she shouts “I’m​ on the rise”

A Shift in Focus

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Finally, I found you!
For so many years I looked.
Why did you hide when you knew I needed you?
So easy to find and yet so hidden

I wrongly thought you would reside
amongst riches and well to do
Was I really looking for you or just constantly chasing
material wealth and an image to match?

Always looking for you in something else
An experience, a lifestyle,​ a place.
I often thought I could find you
In a lover’s admiration and sweet embrace

All the skills in the world would surely elevate me
To a place where I could see you
But nothing seemed to get me closer to you
Even though you were always on my mind

Before I finally found you
So many fields looked greener than mine.
Was I incompetent or just too unlucky
When was my break going to come?

My frustration grew when you eluded me
Everyone seemed to get their share
Nothing was ever enough, my heart was sad
and ever longing; longing for you

I still have no clue how I found you
But suddenly you were there
You’ve filled my life with love and content
So strong and right to the core

Never did I realise you were always right here
Hiding inside for me to find
A shift in my focus found you
From what I have NOT to what I have NOW

Happiness, ​at last, I welcome you, my inner peace!

Pre Dawn

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Pre Dawn

The Earth is wrapped in choking darkness
with only a tiny moon projecting dim rays
Eery shadows and shapes floating on this stage
surrounded by props of suffocating quiet
Unknown noises and a distant bird’s call
the only distractions in this play
Emotions of loneliness and despair
creep into the mind, if permission is granted
But I lay wrapped in my comforting knowledge
after dark and quiet will always come The Light